I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
birth control should be required to get into college
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
