Your face is a jimmy john
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
