I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
