dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
