Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
