Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
