The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Operation Purity has been aborted
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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