My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
