How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
