Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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