I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
