i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
