she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
be right there i have to get my cape
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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