Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize