"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
