Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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