Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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