I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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