i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
