i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
