I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize