Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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