Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
