he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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