Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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