Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
