what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
