If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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