Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
