I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize