So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
