im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
