Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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