She's JV to your varsity
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
