Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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