I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So apparently I’m into choking now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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