he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
