Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
