Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
