It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
