I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
