Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
