if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
do nipples grow back?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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