His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
