he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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