dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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