i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
