As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
