margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want to make out with him forever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
