his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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