I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize