Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
