Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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