Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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