so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
