Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I fill condoms, not promises.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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