i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
