Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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