Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize