i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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