i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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