Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
