I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize