Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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