just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
