it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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