In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize